Sunday, September 18, 2011

Finger Lickin' Good


19th September 2011 – Ann’s Sticky Chicken, Arvid’s Ribs, Ann’s Curry Puffs, Bruschetta, Vegetarian Spring Rolls.

It was time for another showcase and this time I was cooking for Ange who was potentially my most excited reviewer of all time! I decided to make her a meal out of appetisers... a Finger Food Feast! Ange was really excited as she’s been asking to be my reviewer for months and the time was finally here. The menu was planned and I was going to tackle five new recipes at once (Sticky Chicken, Curry Puffs, Ribs, Vegetarian Spring Rolls and Bruschetta). Ambitious to say the least!

I started by preparing Ann’s Sticky Chicken on Saturday afternoon before I headed out to a hens night. It was really simple and I pretty much followed the recipe (except instead of buying sherry I just used some apple juice we already had in the fridge). I had Yves Klein Blue pumping and was loving life (particularly snapping the chicken in half and getting to cut the wings into two pieces – it was lucky Sian wasn’t there as I was displaying some very questionable/dangerous knife skills). It was totally easy, marinated over night, chucked them in the oven for 45 minutes and it was all done. So easy and so delicious – and the whole thing only cost $4!

The next day I had allowed a whole day for cooking and getting everything ready. It was the nicest weather ever so I really wanted to be outside, but I sacrificed that wish and stayed in the kitchen. Another Holen recipe, Arvid’s Ribs, was next and was also really easy. I put oil, vinegar, salt and pepper on the ribs and cooked them for 45 minutes at 190 then 45 minutes at 160. I then added the sauce (I used seeded mustard instead of buying American) and cooked them for another 20 minutes on 205. It was totally easy. 

The third and final Holen dish was Ann’s Curry Puffs. I’ve eaten these on a number of occasions so I was pretty keen to give them a go and see if I could do them justice. The mixture asks for the potatoes and carrots to be finely chopped, combined with the mince (I used chicken) and ‘cook’. This sounds simple, but this caused me probably 20 or more minutes of confusion! I wasn’t sure how much to cook it. I didn’t want to have crunchy potato in the Curry Puffs, but I also was trying to be careful about overcooking the mince. In the end I faffed around with it for ages and then just decided I’d leave it and hope the potato would cook in the oven. The assembling of the actual puffs was also quite confusing to me and I cut the pastry the wrong shape so couldn’t wrap them properly (even though my recipe includes pictures of how to do it)! Not the sharpest tool in the shed. By the second sheet I had it all sorted out and they were all wrapped and ready to chuck in the oven for 20 minutes. They came out golden and brown and I was quite impressed with myself!

The Spring Rolls weren’t so easy. Firstly, I couldn’t find any Chinese Cabbage so I substituted that with Bean Sprouts in a bold and quite stupid move. Secondly, I couldn’t find any Frozen Spring Roll wrappers like the recipe requested so I used rice paper rolls instead. The recipe seemed relatively easy, chop everything up and then wrap it, but I tend to make things complicated. I had intended to oven bake them but I ended up having to deep fry them because they were rice paper rolls. The smell and sight of the oil made me feel truly ill but I’m that good a host I just pushed through! It was all going fine, Sian was helping me (and I was making sure I blotted them with paper towel like mad) while Bald and Ange were talking shit and waiting for everything to get ready. In a way that only I can muster, I then put a spring roll in the oil, stopped paying attention to what I was doing, and put two of my fingers in the ridiculously hot oil. I cannot believe that this shit happens to me (or that I do that to myself). Idiot. Bald – being the sensitive person that he is – said “oh no, you didn’t spoil the oil did you?” Oh, the wit. At the time it felt like the nail might burst off my finger, but it doesn’t seem to have even left a mark or anything. Weird.

The final dish was Bruschetta. I wanted to try Gianna’s Broad Bean Bruschetta, but I couldn’t find Broad Beans (and don’t know what they are) so decided I’d just make a tomato one instead. I used garlic, tomatoes, basil, salt and pepper, parmesan cheese and dressed it with red wine vinegar and a bit of honey. I toasted some French Stick and that was it. It was totally easy, but my favourite dish (potentially because I knew it didn’t have 75 million litres of oil in it like everything else).

 After preparing, cooking and cleaning for probably 6 hours of the day, I was pretty happy that it was all ready on time and we sat down to eat. Everyone oohed and aahed and said all the right things (except me, I was negative, but I was allowed to be because I cooked it).

I thought the Sticky Chicken was amazing and I don’t know why we don’t make it all the time. I’ll be making that from now on for every BBQ I attend. I don’t think I really like Ribs as I didn’t enjoy them last time either, but everyone else seemed to scoff them so they can’t be too bad. The curry puffs were yum but I would maybe make them smaller next time. I didn’t really think the spring rolls had any flavour but I guess they were ok if you covered them in sauce. I was super impressed with my Bruschetta. Mainly I just sat back and watched the food disappear as everyone else enjoyed the feast – that was by far the best bit.

Bald was lucky enough to get the biggest lunch in the history of the world (sticky chicken about 12 ribs and 4 curry puffs) and the rest of the curry puffs were gobbled up by my colleagues so at least all that food isn’t hanging around at our house.

What is hanging around is the most revolting oily smell I’ve ever wiffed. It’s disgusting and our house now smells like the cooking rooms at high school. (Also my hand smells like oil which isn’t nice, but can probably be attributed to the fact that I tried to deep fry my fingers!)

Ange seemed thoroughly impressed and told me I should start a catering business. I would consider it but the world’s best phone number has already been taken. 

I wish this was a joke but it’s not. I drive past it at least once a week and can’t help but laugh out loud every single time!

Anyway, longest blog ever, most food cooked in one evening and hopefully a raving review to come!

Tips: Don’t put fingers in hot oil.
Music: Playlist of music Ange made (about 7 hours of various music on my computer).



Wednesday, September 7, 2011

No Gary No!

September 6 – Emily’s Chocolate Cake.
When this challenge started at the beginning of the year Emily gave me this recipe which I was really excited about. She’s made a copy of a recipe that she had from when she was a little girl which I thought was really cool. It's super cute, you can even see that she’s practiced her handwriting on it. It was finally time to cook Emily’s Chocolate Cake.
Two weeks ago, the majority of the smokers at work (and one ‘non-smoker’) decided to quit smoking together so they could help each other through the process. Some of them are doing amazingly well so, in honour of their efforts, I decided to cook a Quit Cake.
I rushed home from work and got all the cake stuff ready. Lining the tin with paper proved much more complicated that I would have ever thought, but I got it all assembled and the mixture (one of the best cake mixes I’ve ever tasted) was ready to chuck in the oven as I rushed out the door to get my waxing done. By the time I returned it smelt good but still had another 30-40 minutes left in the oven. While icing my face and cooking Bolognese for dinner I also started making the white chocolate ganache to ice the cake with. I had been told you simply heat ½ cup of cream on the stove, then add it to the 180 grams of melted chocolate and then whisk it on and off, for as long as possible.
Cam came over for dinner so while I was doing the finishing touches to the Bolognese, she was whisking my ganache.
“Um, Jo... what’s this meant to look like”
“I dunno”
“Well, it’s just turned from a nice sauce, into a curdled mess, should I stop now?”
My brilliant strategy was to just leave it and sit down for dinner. 

The cake got a bit stuck to the tin (which I broke) so some it wasn’t quite as smooth as I’d hoped, but once I put the curdled icing on top no one would be able to tell which lumps were from what! I was concerned that it might be a bit dry and overcooked, but there was no way to tell until I cut it the next day.
After Cam went home I got stuck into making the coloured icing and creating my pattern. The icing turned out really well, but I made a SERIOUS mess with the red food dye. In my wisdom, I thought I’d better take off my black work top so I wouldn’t get that dirty and just leave on my white singlet – not a good call. It’s now a white singlet with red spots.
The piping was relatively easy, lots of fun and I was pretty impressed with my skills. We don’t have a cake container, so I had to buy one this morning before work. Coles also didn’t have one so I just bought a big container (that I washed carefully so I wouldn’t ruin the stickers and will return tomorrow and continue looking for a proper cake container).
The cake was a hit at work. They were totally impressed with my skills and took photos of it and everything! I was worried it would be dry and the icing would taste gross, but I thought it was quite nice and everyone else seemed impressed... except for one colleague who loves a smoke and missed out on cake who when I showed her the picture said “oh, you’re a cunt aren’t ya?”. Charming
Tips: Be careful with the ganache, something weird happened. I also only had the cake in for about 40 minutes and it was perfect!
Music: Wolfmother

Monday, September 5, 2011

Would you like salad with that?

September 2nd and 4th – Sarah’s Moroccan Cous Cous, Pappa Nank’s Pasta Salad

After realising I had no friends on Tuesday, I thought it was best if I tagged along with Sian and her friends on Wednesday and we headed out to Bingo. It was a really fun night. The prize at Bingo was a meat tray, so Sian and I were determined to win. We didn’t... but something even better happened! One of the girls at our table won three rounds (in a row which was weird) and therefore got three meat trays – did I mention she’s a vegetarian? I could not have been happier when we ended up with TWO meat trays in our fridge!

To celebrate our win, we decided to have a BBQ on Friday night and I thought this was the perfect opportunity to cook Sarah’s Moroccan Cous Cous. It didn’t look too hard and buying all the ingredients didn’t cost much so I was pretty happy. I’d never cooked Cous Cous and wasn’t exactly sure what it even was (I’m still not sure if I’m honest) but I followed the directions and it all went to plan. Sian and I amused ourselves by making jokes about the fact that when Sian tried to write Cous Cous in her phone, it came up as Anus Anus. There were only four of us in total, but I felt sick and was tired so had to firmly assert that “if you are all going to talk at once I can’t hear any of you and therefore won’t listen to anyone” – Mum much?


Everything went to plan. I only put in about half the amount of oil and half the amount of butter because the amount in the recipe seemed a bit excessive. It was still be the right consistency so I might leave even more out next time.

Peta, being the enthusiastic guest she is, oohed and aahed and loved my salad sick! Everyone else liked it too (just not as audibly) and we had a delicious BBQ dinner.

On the weekend, we all headed home for Fathers’ Day and I decided to cook another salad to contribute to lunch. (This is partly because I felt bad about what happened with Grandad’s present. I made him Rocky Road and had so much I gave the leftovers away to The Pig saying “Sian and I don’t eat this kind of stuff so take it”. As it turns out, I do eat that kind of stuff so ate a number of pieces out of the jar I’d prepared for Grandad and then had to rearrange it so it still looked full! A contribution to the family gathering was definitely needed to clear my conscience!) I decided on Pappa Nank’s Pasta Salad.

I had made this once before to take down the coast, but was running so hideously late that I had to get Sian to cook the pasta and the bacon and I did it all wrong anyway! So, I decided to try again in the hope that I could nail it! It was all pretty easy and I indulged my family’s requests by singing Opera for them while I cooked. 


I left out parsley because I couldn’t be bothered to buy it but I don’t think that mattered. I used an extra two rashers of bacon because I love it and as much as I was tempted to buy spiral pasta instead of shells, I forced myself to fork out the extra 40 cents in order to follow the recipe.

Dad picked me some chives out of the garden and told me to just fold them up and cut them with the scissors. About five minutes later he came in and started laughing at me because in my obsessive compulsive way I was trying to line them all up at one end and make sure they’re all facing the right direction. I knew it wasn’t necessary, but once I started I couldn’t stop!

Anyway, it all went to plan and I served it up and got some nice compliments. I thought it was a bit too rich. I don’t think it was like that last time, but it was still nice. I think there was just too much of the sauce for the stuff that was in it. Still ate a fair bit of it though so it can’t have been too bad!

All in all, I think both salads were a success and I’m sure I’ll make them again over the summer as BBQ season officially begins! 

Tips: Halve the amount of oil and butter in the Cous Cous.

Music: I think Amy Winehouse was on for the Cous Cous and I sang Opera while making the Pasta


August Review - Naomi Arnold


I have been thinking about how to review this meal since I arrived at the Fort two weeks ago, and now that I'm writing I have performance anxiety! Right, time to man up.

This was such an exciting dinner. I am all for a meal that you get to see made in front of you. Not only that, but Jops let me help too, which for the complete non-cooker that I am, made the experience totally exciting. (No really, I don't believe in cooking - i eat lite and easy most nights!). Pity I don't feel the same way about cooking in my own house.

I realised as I watched Jo and Sian roll the dough that I had never seen the 'pasta-making-process' before - it's actually a thoroughly enjoyable experience! Totally meditative.

Slight less on the 'zen scale' was the experience of Jops slicing her thumb while cutting the bacon. At least it was a meat dish.

I've never really had much to do with leek before - so I was a bit sceptical. However, it was awesome. Very salty (although I blame myself for having two helpings of parmesan!), and it gave it a great texture. The fresh pasta was AMAZING! I was so impressed that I was considering buying my own pasta maker (until I remembered that I don't believe in cooking). Fresh pasta is really soft and silky. Yummo.

We finished the meal off with ice cream and crushed kit-kats. Big mistake. We felt so sick.

If you're one of those people who actually cooks, I would highly recommend you give this one a whirl. Thumb chopping optional.