Satisfying Rita

27 June 2011 - Date and Walnut Loaf

After a big weekend in Bathurst it was back to the real world where I showed uncharacteristic restraint at afternoon drinks having only a diet coke and a water... I barely recognise myself!

This was my first go at cooking on request and when Rita gave not-so-subtle hints and asked for something with dates and nuts that she can smear butter on... my choices were pretty limited. But I found a recipe online and with Rita's approval I was ready to cook Date and Walnut Loaf.

I found some dates in the pantry...but the wormy maggoty looking thing I found in there wasn't appealing so it was off to the shops. We had golden syrup in the pantry so I didn't bother with the maple but everything else was fine.

This was not at all complicated. I mixed it all together and chucked it in the oven without any dramas. The pan was the wrong size but I didn't think this would matter. I put the timer on for forty minutes...but forgot to press start. They've said it before and they'll say it again... I am my father's daughter!

It was on for around 40 minutes and when I checked it, it wasn't ready but was very brown, so I covered it with foil and put it on for another ten. I checked it with a couple of minutes to go and it wasn't ready, but it was done the next time the timer went off, and all was good.

Our oven doesn’t seem to cook evenly as one side is quite a bit darker than the other side. I think the outside is kind of tough so it was maybe in the oven for too long all up.

Rita added her butter and seemed pretty happy with it, she thinks it was about 5 minutes too long in the oven and this is why the outside was tough. It seemed to disappear pretty quickly at work and people were loving it so I was happy all up!

Tips: It seemed to go from undercooked to slightly tough really quickly so keep an eye on it.
Music: Ladyhawke

(Don't know why this page is so dirty, I must have sat it in some crap at some stage or another)

Like Bland on Rice

20^th June 2011 – Five-Spiced Pork Fried Rice

Second night of cooking in a row, and the second night of pork, but I backed up to make Donna Hays Five-spiced pork fried rice.

It looked delicious and I am loving rice sick at the moment so I seemed a good excuse to over indulge. I headed off to the shop with my list of things I needed which seemed pretty easy. For some bizarre reason Donna Hay had written in her book "green onions (scallions)" which confused the hell out of me! I thought (being the culinary genius that I am) scallions were spring onions, but I was confused as to why if that's what it was, Donna - a fellow Aussie - wouldn't write that. Pretentious fool. I knew I didn't like her. Anyway, I called Sian and she confirmed that Donna is an idiot. I found everything else without any trouble and headed home to get cracking.

For some reason, a recipe for four people called for six cups of rice! How hungry are these people?! I halved the recipe as there was only one of me and quartering the recipe is way too complex when it already calls for half teaspoons. I can nail a rice (I use jasmine and have a fool proof way of microwave cooking it) but this time, it wasn't great, it was sticky and gluggy. Not my best effort and would have ruined my rice-reputation, had anyone been there to see it... or had I posted it on the internet.

I used the wok as I didn't think we had a pan big enough, and chucked in all the flavouring ingredients...which burnt and formed a clump, so I chucked them straight back out again. I started again, reduced the heat and this time it worked much better. I added the pork but had no idea how to cook pork or even how to tell if it is cooked. I took it out when it was brown and added the rice. There was SO much rice. I was concerned about the pork not being cooked, so tipped the rice out and cooked the pork a bit more, then recombined it all and, added the soy and was good to go!

The pork was overcooked, there wasn't enough of it (even though I had slightly more than the recipe called for) and the rice was sort of flavourless. I had remembered buying hoisin sauce so didn't check for that in the pantry before I went to the shops but it turns out I bought it in Singapore and we didn't have any. Not to worry, I used Sweet Soy instead and absolutely covered my rice in it to add flavour.

It was a really bland tasting dish (I'm sensing a pattern with Donna) but I could see how it could have been nice. Shame. Anyway since there are butt loads of the stuff, I'll be eating it for the rest of my life...just covered in sweet soy.

Tips: Learn how to cook pork and don't use the full quantity of rice suggested.

Music: Bob Marley and the Wailers.

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

Double Wammy

19 June 2011 - Denise's BBQ Spare Ribs and Almond and Chocolate Florentines

After slobbing around being a lazy son of a bitch for a week, I had some catching up to do so decided I should man up and cook two recipes at once and decided on Denise’s BBQ Spare Ribs and Almond and Chocolate Florentines.

I had to put the ribs on the water to boil and they looked truly disgusting! They started boiling over all this grey fatty shit which was so gross and not at all appetising. The sauce should have been really easy, but I couldn't find the tablespoon and could only find a 1/2 tablespoon measure. Seems ok, only I was measuring everything out and then forgot how many 1/2 spoons of each thing I put it and it all got weird. So, who knows if the sauce was actually what it was meant to be. I just chucked stuff in and tasted and added more and changed it, it was very MasterChef.

The recipe said to cook the ribs in the oven for 30 minutes, but after about 20 the sauce was stuck to the bottom of the pan and burnt so I took them out. I later discovered that I was meant to be ‘basting’ the whole time, but forgot to read that part of the recipe. Meanwhile, I had prepared Cam's Mediterranean Vege Salad which we were having for the fourth time - but this was only the 1st time I’d made it correctly as I’d actually never read the recipe and always used Balsamic Vinegar instead of Balsamic vinaigrette. Doff.

The ribs turned out ok, I think if there had of been more sauce it would have been better, but I guess that's only because some of it got stuck to the pan. They also were quite gristly but I'm not sure what to do about that. Sian freaked out and got up on her high horse for a minute when she thought that I'd found a staple in my corn "take it back to Coles, I'm writing a letter"... Then I had to admit that the staple made its way on to my plate after I'd dropped corn on the ground and scooped it back onto my plate. Didn't take long for her to get down off the high horse.

On to desert - I didn't actually know what a Florentine was, but I think they were ok. There was nothing too complex in that recipe so I guess it is as it seems. The recipe says to spread them 8cms apart, which I didn't really do, but should have as they spread a lot in the oven. I was meant to cut them into circles, but didn't have anything to do that with, so they just stayed in the enormous blobs they were in, until I tried to cut them, at which time they just sort of crumbled into weird flakes. They didn't really peel away from the paper, but there was nothing I could do about that... except eat the paper. They taste good though in a caramel sort of way.

They've since become the bane of my existence and even though I don't really like them I can't stop eating them - taking them to work tomorrow!

Tips: Ribs - they didn't take long as long as the recipe said, and it's best to use the appropriate spoon.

Florentines -find a way to shape them without snapping them into tiny pieces.

Music: No Doubt - Return of Saturn

June Review - Peta Gammie

Duck San Choy Bow

I’ve known Jo for all 25 years of her life and tonight was the first time she cooked for me. I was told at the beginning of the week that there might be an international edition of the blog and to be honest I had been excited about it all week!

This kind of thing would usually result in disappointment, too much pressure, too much build up. Just to add to it Jo decided to get adventurous, go Asian and cook duck…

1. I don't typically like duck
2. When we realised that we couldn't buy duck breasts singularly and in fact had to purchase a whole duck, webbed feet, long neck, beak, blue eyes and all, I almost threw up
3. When I realised that Juice was stuck in custody in Africa and not vaccinated against a potentially fatal disease I lost my appetite altogether
   

To be fair, the odds were not stacked in her favour.

I have to say that Jo pulled off the impossible and impressed me beyond even my wildest expectations.

The preparation of the duck (Augustus) turned out to be both fun and educational with my favourite comment from the chef being “hey, don’t you reckon this is what a dinosaur’s skin would’ve felt like?” We discovered that not only was he a wild dude from the west side but that the little ducker had big breasts!

The smell of the sauce brought my appetite right back and I happily gobbled up 3 (or perhaps 6) delicious delicious delicious duck treats.

I will definitely try to cook it myself and not only because I have 7/8s of a massive duck in the freezer!

I would probably reduce the amount of soy sauce cause I thought it was a little salty but otherwise I really thought it was fantastic.

P.S I wrote this last Sat when Jo made it, last night I decided to use the same sauce but I stir-fried it with pork and it was so amazing I am having it again tonight :)

The Mighty Duck!

4 June 2011 – Duck San Choy Bow

I went off to Singapore last week to stay with Pirate Pete while Nearly Jaundiced Juice was in Africa. We had a great week, wedding planning, stuffing our faces, trips to the hospital, watching a piano player suspended in mid-air...the usual.

As I'm such a dedicated cooker, I decided this was the perfect chance to cook something different, and for Peta to be a reviewer. Peta suggested that I cook duck (even though she doesn't actually like it) and for some reason I got it into my head that I would make Duck San Choy Bow. I had to google a million recipes, but I settled on one that I found on the Ready Steady Cook website.

We set off to the world biggest most insanely crowded super market to get all the ingredients. For some reason everything there comes in bulk so we had to buy a bag of onions, a bag of garlic and a bag of ginger which was overwhelming, and the coriander was called Chinese Parsley which is just plain weird.

We thought we'd be able to buy a duck breast but couldn’t find one anywhere, so ended up having to buy a whole duck, problem was, a whole duck means a duck with legs and feet and a head, beak, eyes, everything! It was full on.

I got everything chopped up and ready and got out the cleaver ready to chop up Augustus (every good duck needs a name). Peta had to give me some directions on how to actually cut it to get the breast off, but I think I did a pretty good job. At first we were kind of freaked out by it, thought the feet and head were weird, but pretty soon we were obsessed with Augie. I was making him high five his own feet and Peta was making him be all west side gangsta - it was hilarious. I also amused myself by making jokes about him fisting himself because apparently that's how ducks are packaged - one foot up the 'clacker'... lucky I find myself funny!

The cooking went really well, I didn't know how to cook duck so I just stuck to the suggested times and assumed it would all be ok. It was delicious and Peta and I were loving life! I was surprised at how good it tasted when it was so simple (decapitation not included). Very much a success. I'll make this one again for sure.

Tips: Cutting up a duck is not a vegetarian friendly activity. Luckily the Gammies don't come in a vegetarian variety.
Music: Florence and the Machine and, Skunk Anansie.